RSV… HUH ?
fabulously contemplated by Miss Lemon Drop
The guest list is a very difficult piece to any wedding. It’s a balancing act between two families, friends and family, and the almighty BUDGET.
It is no wonder that after thinking long and hard about WHO to invite that we spent a lot of time (not to mention money) on our invitations. I ordered custom stamps, the boy designed a monogram, I picked out just the right color ribbon to tie the inserts together, I even bought (coordinating !) stamps for the RSVP card !
Now I know most people probably didn’t notice some of the details that were put into the invite. I also know that I didn’t HAVE to put that effort into it and that I’m the one who cares the most. I also know probably almost every bride has a rant about this… but seriously…
why oh why did I have 80 unconfirmed guests (about 39 actual invites, the 80 includes their guests/children) as of my RSVP deadline ?
I can understand the bridal party (3 of them didn’t send theirs in) Since they’re already committed to coming and the ones traveling have already told us their plans and such. I’ll also give my grandfather a pass as it’s harder for him to get to a mail box. I even understand those who arrived by today. ( a day or two to realize the date had passed, and 3-4 days days for it to arrive could make it a week late)
Even after that and filling in all those who we knew 100% their status without hearing from them, we still had about 19 invites who we honestly have NO CLUE if they would be able to join us or not.
HOW HARD is it to
1: Make a check mark next to yes or no
2: Seal envelope
3: drop in mail box
Or alternatively
1) Log onto Internet
2) go to wedding website
3) Click RSVP
4) Click Submit
I am trying so hard to make my wedding enjoyable for these lovely people whom we care deeply about, by having transportation to and from the festivities, a block of discounted hotel rooms, and putting information everywhere for them. Seems the least they could do would be to let me know if they can make it. I still have people telling me they don’t know if they can make it ?! I mean really.
We also have an acceptance rate of about 67%. While this is not SUPER low, and I know it’s due to the economy, the fact that much of our list would have to travel to California. His family from the east coast, and a smattering of mine from various points in the country (we also had 3 international guests) I still can’t help feeling a bit sad when I see a no response.
I understand the financial and other burdens that come with travel, and as much as I truly appreciate and am grateful and excited to see the guests that are able to make it, It doesn’t make the fact that two of my oldest friends (known both since I was about 12, and was a bridesmaid for both of them) won’t be able to be there easier to swallow. Especially when they don’t respond to your calls/emails/texts about whether or not they actually CAN make it.
Have you had to hunt people down for their RSVP, were you disappointed that more people couldn’t make it, did you have other worries about your numbers such as venue catering minimums, or capacity concerns ?
Kenzie Shores
This is great, as usual
I loved the title 
August 22nd, 2008 at 11:02 amTabitha @ Elite Bridal Concierge
This is an ongoing issue that I’m sure every other bride faces this, that is having their guests FAIL to R.S.V.P. I blogged about this a few months back because it really does put brides in unique situation. She (or the groom) should not have to call you up to see if you will be attending, even if you are the brides first cousin. She does not know for certain if you will be attending. Seriously, people if you have been invited to a wedding or other social event, the only responsibility that you as a guest have is to fill-out the reply card, seal it in the PRE-STAMPED envelope, and mail it. Not hard at all!
August 22nd, 2008 at 2:28 pmamanda b. young
Yeah, unfortunately I think everyone goes through this — as frustrating as it might be. I can’t tell you the number of people that said to me a few weeks late “I’m so sorry — I just lost the card!” etc. etc. And, of course, calling all the people is a pain in the tush. What I did was divide up the people — if they were extended family, relatives, or friends of the family my mom called them, if they were my friends, co-workers etc. I would call them, if they were on the groom’s side my husband or his mom called. This made it a lot easier on me and kept me from having to call some people I had never met!
And, as far as the low acceptance rate, I can understand that too. A week before the wedding I was calling my caterer and florist and decreasing the number of tables, number of chair covers, etc. but ultimately I wasn’t upset it worked out that way — our wedding ended up a lot more intimate, which I simply loved! Anyway, best of luck to you — don’t stress out about it too much (I know, easier said than done!).
August 23rd, 2008 at 9:49 amisha
Unfortunately I see this all the time. I recently posted on my blog that some people aren’t sure they can swing it and just don’t want to say ‘no’. For almost every wedding we manage, we end up calling guests.
Lately, brides are hoping some guests decline so that they can upgrade some things in the wedding. If you have minimums to meet, why not add a sushi station to cocktail hour, or late night snack! With fewer centerpieces, you can upgrade flowers and/or containers, and get embellished linens, etc.
Some layouts like royal/kings tables or clusters/pods take up more space in a large room and look great!
How about taking some of your extra resources to subsidize the trip for those that are most important to you.
I hope everything works out like you want it to!
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:45 am